Comments on The Pensive Quill: Souvenirs

Rory McIlroy drives his BMW into the petrol stati...

2011-07-02T21:51:56.606+01:00

Rory McIlroy drives his BMW into the petrol station on the Anytout rd, Bob doh brains was at the next pump, when Rory bent to pick up the petrol nozzel,as he did so 2 tees fell out of his shirt pocket,"doh what are does ?" asks Bob doh brains. "they,re called tees,they,re for resting my balls on when I,m driving" "Doh f##k me" says Bob "BMW think of everything doh"!! .............
Texting for seniors..
The kids have all their little SMS codes....like BFF, WTF.,LOL etc so here are some codes for seniors..
ATD ..at the doctors
BFF..best friends funeral
BTW..bring the wheel chair
FWIW..forgot where I was
GGPBL..gotta go pacemaker battery low
GHA..got heartburn again
HGBM..had good bowel movement
IMHO..is my hearing aid on
TTYL..talk to you louder
WAITT..who am I talking to
GGLKI..gotta go laxative kicking in..

The goverment has passed a new bill in parliament ...

2011-07-01T21:33:45.294+01:00

The goverment has passed a new bill in parliament so gay men are entitled to more money,its called knobseekers allowance....

Apparently the uvf in east Belfast were asked to o...

2011-06-30T20:27:13.384+01:00

Apparently the uvf in east Belfast were asked to organise a homecoming party for Rory Mc Ilroy...chucking golf balls at the taigs was not what the council had in mind!!...6 reasons why men prefer guns to women......
1..You can trade an old 45 for a 22'
2..You can admire a friends gun and he,ll let you handle try it..
3..Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo..
4..Guns function normally every day..
5..A gun doesnt mind if you go to sleep after you use it..
6..You can buy a silencer for a gun!!!...I.m fed up with some of the excuses women use to avoid sex; "I,m washing my hair"..."I,ve got a headache"......"I,m your sister"..

The mrs suggested we use some toys in the bedroom ...

2011-06-27T23:59:14.840+01:00

The mrs suggested we use some toys in the bedroom to spice things up a bit,she wasnt to impressed,the ungrateful cow....2 hours that scalextric took me to set up...The wife,s not speaking,because I wouldnt open the door for her...its not my fault....I just panicked and swam to the surface!!!

The psni have come up with a new scheme to dispers...

2011-06-26T16:26:17.655+01:00

The psni have come up with a new scheme to disperse rioters from the Newtownards rd,....they will fly overhead with a helicopter and drop job applications.......I,ve just sold my stuffed labrador on e-bay..it didnt fetch very much...Pub quiz in the Anytout social.."And the final question to win £200 is; Take Thats first album consisted of four words the first two were "Take That" so what were the second two ?"....after a long pause Bob Doh Brains piped up "was it YA F##KER"....

Brian, as ever apologies for still playing catch...

2011-06-26T09:31:38.683+01:00

Brian,

as ever apologies for still playing catch-up

Tain Bo,

the shit-man he is on the loose indeed, and very few have noticed!. I am relieved he is not on my side.