Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Gerry Liar

Wednesday, December 21, 2011  AM  38 comments





Cartoon by Brian Mór
Click to enlarge

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38 comments:

Classic Brian, the beard couldn't lie straight in bed FFS

Brian as a qsf ,er if Gerry or whatever his name says its true then its true,if only he wore a mask we could all say"Who is that masked man?" come to think of it !!!!!!!

The modern Parnell and brother Liam as kitty O'Shae.

Some people have self delusions but as turns out everybody got 'what's-his-name' wrong and he actually was borne to the manor, in fact, he is Baron of the Manor no less.

Jesus must be fairly pissed knowing that on his birthday his thunder has been stolen by a man who apparently has a beard who no one has ever seen and could possibly not even exist..I got a letter from my doctor the other day,it said "my diagnosis is that you must have daily sex" I excitedly showed it to my wife who soon ruined my day when she pointed out it actually said was "my diagnosis is that you have dyslexia"....

Just stole a turkey from ASDA.security man ran after me shouting"what are you doing with that" so I shouted back "potatoes peas, carrots brussel sprouts and gravy ya dickhead"!!!!

I see in the Anytout news an article headlined ;SCAP FOR TRIBUNAL
now the thing I find interesting is the opening lines "West Belfast republican Freddie Scappaticci could be called to give evidence at the Smithwick Tribunal, so there you have it straight from the horses mouth so to speak,this qsf rag has given us the clearest indication yet that its fine to be a murdering tout in the pay of the British but you can still be a republican ..OH PLLLLLEEEAAAASSSEEEE!!!!!!!Nollaig Shona Daoibh Go Léir

LOL My nuts of reallY glad to see the pic of my fellow member of FSM Anthony in full uniform

Marty,

Carrie could not wait to get a photo of me with the full regalia out there. Great gift from the FSM directorate!!

THE NAFFEST! CHRISTMAS PRESSIE COMPETION EVER!!!
contender #1.A wooly jumper with a pic of the bearded one?
#2qsf manifesto... a bog roll
#3qsf favourite song Your everywhere and nowhere baby
#4 dvd OF Bob Doh Brains on Mastermind ..clip "DOH Pass"
#5 fly fishing tips from a fly man Marty Mc G
#6 transformer figures..changes from revolutionary to policeman by inserting a few coins up its arse.
#7 a tea towel with all Mickeyboys quotes
#8 2 tea towels with Mickeyboys quotes
#9 bangers novel..yawn
#10 Gerry,s books zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Marty,

great job. The pick of the ten has to be the change from revolutionary to peeler

Anthony,

I can hear it years from now “you were never a member of FSM” now that the supreme Flying Spaghetti Monster has made it to the quill I wonder will they be under investigation as a dissident break away religion.
Too funny mate but I am happy the true creator is now amongst us.

Marty,

I think bog-roll got a bad rap here ha, as unlike the qsf it actually does serve the greater good.

It reminds me of the old piss pots in the jails and what is the difference between SF and her majesty’s piss pots.

One provided a little relief and dignity the other filled with human waste.

PS: I will leave the joke telling to you as I fail miserably in that department.

Nollaig shonna mo chara.

Best wishes to all the regulars and hoping for another year of good banter.
Thanks Anthony for the freedom the quill provides us to voice an uncensored opinion.

SCARIEST MOMENT FROM LAST YEAR
#1 Being stuck in a dark room with Nuala and John Mc Girr and a bible
#2 Dreaming I was one half of of a siamese twin pair...Mickeyboy was the other ..f##kin nightmare
#3 being told that you need a brain transplant immediately and the only donor was a a qsf .er would that be a no brainer,
#4 being the back end of a christmas panto horse Mickeyboy being the front,really making an ass of onself then.
#6 being invited to Nualas for christmas dinner,I mean 30 year old turkey and veggies so far out of date that they come with latin names..
#7 getting plastered and dancing to Daniel O Donnel cd,s ...with Mickeyboy.
NOLLAIG Shona Duit Mickeyboy

At this time of year I get fed up with people who think they are worse of than everybody else ....my mate Jim is brilliant,he had a bad car crash,where he lost both his legs and his voice....Does he make a song and dance about it ...does he f##k...

Without a doubt this time of year is our SMH,s favourite and most productive time,she can be found out to the wee small hours collecting copious amounts of her favourite specialist art material which we know as boke.puke technicolour yawn . her carrot figures are a treat for anyone of a discerning taste so big girl more power to yer elbow next year and keep sticking it up em opps should that be up to them ,,,,

I was at a wedding reception when the dj announced"all the married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living" ...the barman was crushed to death...Bob doh Brains said to Gerry Itwasntme "I thought my new girlfriend might just be ..." the one"....but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse,s outfit,a french maids outfit,and a policewomans uniform I,ve dumped her....she obviously cant hold down a job doh",,,,,

Tain Bo,

truly truly I say to you
he who believes in my pasta strainer
shall have everlasting noodles.
And even if at some later date I deny being the bearer of the strainer, there will be enough fools despite the evidence before their eyes who will endorse my stand. Some will even claim it was on their head rather than mine.

This is the word of the FSM

Anthony,

spoken like a true prophet.

I hope you didnt strain yourself to much a cara

May I wish you all peace ,love ,health BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!! fuck that I wish you lots of sex,alcohol,orgasms,and hope you win the lottery,happy new year!!!!I know its early but I suffer from premature congratulations......

I bought the son a puppy for christmas,but I,ve just accidentally killed him with my car as I reversed onto the drive...Oh well I,ll have to look after the puppy myself now,,,

Ha HA..just seen an ad on RTE for an upcoming show Kneeling in the years, this must have been recorded before we went on our backs,and no Anthony that wasnt just to keep our arses away from the bishops and priests,,,

Alfie a cara you think your bad ,well if my body was a car,I,d definitely be trading it in for a newer model.I,ve got bumps,dents scratches and my paint job is splattered with varicose veins. my headlights are out of focus,my traction is not as graceful as it once was,my head cloth is now grey,my gearbox is just about to seize up.it takes me hours to reach maximum speed I overheat for no reason,..but worst of all every time I sneeze,cough, or laugh either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires....

Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed ....my name, address,phone number...

Had some bad news arranging the wifes funeral today.....she cancelled it.

How do you start a rave in a synagogue......stick pennies to the ceiling.....

What do scousers put in their stockings at christmas?...their heads...I was quite upset when I lost my job at the nursing home..now I dont care...

TOP TIP FOR THE NEW YEAR:
If you receive a letter summoning you for jury service and you dont want to do it,simply write a reply that says "I.d be delighted to attend,whats the (Robert should ammend here as necessary) orange f##ker done?"
Bob doh Brains and Trickey Dickey were once on an op outside Buckingham palace on a cold winters day to do a hit on the queen,Trickey said "we shouldnt be doing this Bob its treason" Bob replied"Doh you arent kidding Trickey I,ve got two layers of thermals on and I,m still f##king freezing doh"

At last some good news for all on TPQ,
Assisted suicide may soon be legal,
Mickeyboy cooheeeee...

A film about Maggie Thatcher is about to hit our cinema,s.I cant help but feel they should have waited till she died so the film could have had a happy ending...

Dad whats a cross dresser?""ask your mum he,ll know"

To save the economy,David Cameron will announce shortly that he is ordering the home office to start deporting old people(instead of illegal immigrants)in order to lower the pension bill and nhs costs...old people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home...run Mickeyboy run

The iron lady (fucking cow) has been classified 18 as it.s unsuitable for miners...

How did the chicken cross the road,inside Anthony Worral Thompson,s jacket

Marty
"A film about Maggie Thatcher is about to hit our cinema,s.I cant help but feel they should have waited till she died so the film could have had a happy ending".

I hope she never dies, she will go blind,deaf,dumb,incontinent,crippled, and the only voices she hears are those of the Brave ten of 81, screaming at her, forever and ever.
that will drive her more mental than she was in 81.

The wife walked into the kitchen and found me stalking around with a fly swatter "what are you doing?" she asked "hunting flies"I said "have you killed any yet?" she asked "yip 3 males and 2 females" I replied intrigued she asked "how can you tell them apart?" I said "3 were on a beer can and the other 2 were on the f##kin phone"

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